Kanto Never Knew What Hit It
by SSVshepard
Summary: The South Park kids head out to Kanto! Version Red through Platinum Pokemon. M for the language
1. Chapter 1

I don't own South Park, Pokémon, or any other things except for my cat. His name is Bob

It was just another day in South Park. Officer Barbrady was not doing his job, was saying Mkay, & Kenny had died 3 times today.

Cartman was sitting on his couch eating cheesy poofs and watching the news. Now you may wonder why he was watching the news. The answer: he got grounded from watching Terrance & Philip after he had killed Scott Tenerman's parents.

'This is weak' though Cartman.

"And finally tonight an interesting story out of Japan." The TV announcer said.

'Who the hell cares' though Cartman.

"Professor Hoshimontonimo has announced a great breakthrough in his genetic engineering research; we now go live to Professor Hoshimontonimo's lab with a midget wearing a bikini."

"Thanks Tom, Professor Hoshimontonimo is now going to announce his amazing breakthrough"

When a white 6'1 guy walked onto the stage Cartman got confused "What the hell?"

"Hello everyone, I professor Hoshimontonimo spent 25 years of my life on one single dream. To create Pokémon."

"WHAT?" Cartman yelled.

"It is with great honor that I say that today I have accomplished this goal. I have created all 493 species of Pokémon! ( No Black & White version because I don't know them) & have made an island for them to live on!"

'Holy shit' Cartman thought 'does stuff like this always happen on the news?'

"I & the Nintendo Corporation have decided to pick one lucky school from each continent (we have decided to give North America 2 schools because Antarctica has no schools) the chance to go to this island and catch your very own Pokémon!"

Cartman jumped off the couch and got on his knees. "God, I've never asked you for anything besides giving Kyle aids, please, please let our school win." Cartman prayed.

"The winners of this contest will stay anonymous because of the jealousy it will cause" Hoshimontonimo said.

"Then how will a school know it has won" The midget asked

"Simple, they will be an announcement at their schools where they will be brought to their nearest airport where an airplane will pick them up and take them to Kanto."

"Kanto?" The midget asked

"That is what we have named the island, yes. It has also been decided that no one under the 4th grade & no one above 5th will be able to go."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know, Nintendo decided that."

"Well, there you have it Tom, the kids of South Park can only hope that they are the lucky ones to be selected, back to you."

"Thanks midget, shocking report." Tom said "Now on to local news, officer Barbr…" Cartman turned off the TV.

"Oh god, please, let us win!" Cartman pleaded

"Snooklepoo, time for bed." Cartman's mom called

"But mooooooom!" Cartman whined.


	2. Chapter 2

"You guys! Oh my god you guys!" Cartman yelled.

He had just run up to the bus stop where Stan, Kyle, & Kenny were waiting like everyday.

"What fatass?" Kyle asked

"First, shut up Kyle; shut your god damn Jew mouth! Second you'll never believe what I saw on TV last night!"

"Probably just another Terrance & Philip rerun" guessed Stan

"No, when I was watching the news…"

"Why were you watching the news when Terrace & Philip was on" Kyle cut him off.

"Kyle, if you don't shut up and let me talk I will kick you squa in de nuts. Now I saw last night that this scientist in Japan made real Pokémon dudes!"

"Yeah right, and Kenny will wear something besides his orange parka tomorrow." Kyle said.

Kenny muffled something sounding like "Not fuckin likely".

"I'm serious!" Cartman whined

'Whatever" Stan said.

When the bus arrived they still didn't believe Cartman.

"Hey Eric, did you see the news last night" Butters called from his seat.

"You saw it too?"

"Yeah, that professor guy makin Pokémon, I sure hope we get picked."

"We can only pray Butters, we can only pray."

The bus arrived at school and all the kids went to their classrooms.

Mr. Garrison walked into the classroom with his books & Mr. Hat "Okay children, were going to be learning about the greatest woman singer of our time, Justin Bieber."

"That's right Mr. Garrison" Mr. Hat said "she sure is a dream boat."

Just then, before they could discuss the abomination, I mean, Bieber, the intercom cut in.

"Will all 4th through 5th graders please report to the gym for a surprise assembly" the speaker blared.

"Oh for Christ's sake" Mr. Garrison said.

They all went into the gym and sat down. Mr. Mackey walked up to the mike, "Mkay I appreciate that you all took the time to come here, mkay. We have a special announcement and here to make this announcement is Mr. Yoshimoto."

A 5'6 Japanese man came out from behind the curtain.

"Herro children, my name is Mr. Yoshimoto & I am here to tell you that YOUR school has been chosen as the school to help try out our newest breakthrough."

"What's that" Wendy asked

"We wish for you all to test our newest joint project with Nintendo"

'God, if this is a joke, you are one sick bastard' Cartman thought.

God took a little offense to that and decided to make sure Cartman got a little something later on.

"We wish that you come to the new island that we have created and test out our newly created Pokémon."

Shock meet that statement. Then Cartman jumped up and yelled "FUCK YEAH! I TOLD YOU GUYS! EAT IT KYLE!"

Kyle's face was in shock that Cartman **WASN'T** lying for once.

"We have contacted your parents & while all of the 4th graders parents agreed, none of the 5th graders parents said yes. Can't imagine why, releasing kids on a newly created island with wild animals running around seems like a fine idea" Mr. Yoshimoto commented.

All of the 5th graders got really pissed at that. They had wanted to go too!

"You will all be going to Denver Airport tomorrow. Pack food, a sleeping bag, & clothes."

Most of the kids were still shell shocked. They were going to have their own POKEMON!

"I TOLD YOU SO!" Cartman yelled.


End file.
